Oh, how many of us wished we had not felt so alone in those first few years of homeschooling! Never fully sure of what we were doing, and longing for a pat on the back or someone to check in and simply ask how it was going. That's why we long to create an environment for all homeschooling moms to find community. To know that while we homeschool in the privacy of our own HOMES, we are not isolated, and we are not alone! We are part of something bigger. A community that comes alongside other homeschool families, cheering from the sidelines, encouraging and supportive on the tough days, and sharing our lessons learned. Together we stand!
HOMESCHOOLING THE FIRST YEAR is an up close and personal look into one of our THESIS first year families! Welcome our friends: The Boone Family.
We are halfway through our first year and what have you learned?
I’ve learned that homeschooling is more than school at home. I had very clear reasons for wanting to homeschool, but I wanted to view it as just one of many choices we’ve made for our family—simply a way to educate our children. I felt strongly that I didn’t want it to seem like an entire way of life or my purpose. (Truthfully, I didn’t want it to set us apart from other families and make us irrelevant to other Christians.) But I’ve found that for our family, it is a way of life. And it’s SO MUCH MORE than a “schooling option”; it is shaping our family culture. The more I learn from other homeschooling families, the more I recognize that education is exceedingly more than academics. It’s about my children’s whole hearts and our purpose as a family. Halfway into this first school year, I see how the goals my husband and I already had for our children have been refined—becoming more specific and even more attainable. Homeschooling does set us apart, whether I want it to or not. But I’m learning how I can still relate to others and to remain confident yet humble.
What has surprised you for the good that you didn’t expect?
I shouldn’t have been surprised by this because I know it is how children learn, but I’ve been amazed at how sudden some of the learning has been. It can be so frustrating day after day, teaching the same thing, especially when that thing seems so simple for me. Handwriting and letter formation. Blending sounds together to make a word. Things for which I’ve run out of ways of explaining and I feel helpless. And then the next day, it just clicks for my daughter and she takes off. My mantra has been “Trust the process.” It’s amazing how well the process works when I give up control, do my job to teach, and let the learning just happen in its own time.
What has caught you off guard that you didn’t anticipate?
The hunger. I did not expect that teaching for such a short amount of time in the mornings would make me so hungry! And the hunger made me angry. So to fix it, I ate. And ate. And ate. Snacks kept everyone happy, including me. So my daughter gained knowledge and I gained weight. We’ll call it the “first-year fifteen.” Fortunately, we moved our school room to the basement after Christmas, and I’m no longer close to the kitchen!
What scared you the most going in and how have those fears subsided...or have they?
My biggest fear was that it was going to be extremely difficult with my 1 ½-year old present during school time. That fear was immediately realized, and the activities and toys I had prepared ahead of time did nothing to hold his attention. He only wanted held and to be literally on my daughter’s lap during her lessons. It was frustrating and I didn’t handle it well. However, it took only a couple months before this didn’t seem to even be a problem anymore. I’m not sure if we got used to him, or if he got used to us doing our own thing. It’s probably a little of both. I’ve been better at stopping to meet his needs, and he has lost interest in what his sister is doing. A few more months of maturity for a toddler also make a huge difference.
What wins have you seen in your own life, kids’ life? Character, education, relationships?
The first couple of months were tough. While we enjoyed homeschooling, I noticed a change in my daughter’s overall attitude. She seemed to sulk a lot more, to be more tired, and to just have a bad attitude. Reflecting back on that, it’s obvious to me that she had been feeling the weight of having her first schooling experience, learning many new things at once, giving up her afternoon naps, and the pressure I was putting on her with my impatience and frustration. I’m grateful we’re past that now. Being my daughter’s teacher this year has given me the opportunity to learn much more about my daughter than I knew before. I’m seeing her in a different context, and I’ve discovered more about how she deals with her emotions. I’ve been forced to try to see everything from her perspective and to understand what’s going on inside that mind of hers. Homeschooling has allowed me to better see my daughter for the little girl God created her to be while simultaneously envisioning the woman she will turn into. I feel like my perspective as a mom has changed.
Do you feel you have found a community of support in your journey? If so, how has this helped?
For sure. I can’t even begin to imagine where I’d be without the community of other homeschoolers in my life, and I’m thankful I got to know many of them years before we began. I’ve appreciated their stories, advice, and encouragement. I’m so thankful for THESIS, where we see different types of families who use various homeschool approaches but who share common goals. It’s reassuring to know that there are many others doing this too, because the truth is, it’s scary to step out and make that counter-cultural decision to be responsible for your child’s total education. I’m also especially grateful for the THESIS book club where I’ve heard novice homeschool moms and veteran homeschool moms share their heart and tell of their own struggles and victories. They’ve given me hope and renewed vision.
I love homeschooling because...
Oh, there are so many reasons! Here are just a few:
1. I get to be with my children.
2. My children get to be with one another.
3. I get to learn alongside my daughter.
4. I get to buy curriculum! And lots and lots of books.
5. The curriculum and learning plan are tailored to meet my daughter’s specific needs and interests.
6. The instruction of the Lord isn’t something we’re having to squeeze into our lives; it’s what guides everything we do.
7. We have freedom with scheduling and prioritizing.
8. The learning is so much richer and deeper.
My kids like_______most of all!
If asked her favorite subjects, my daughter would say reading and art. But I know she likes playing most of all! We finish school well before lunch, and the rest of her day is filled with play. And of course, we all know how important play is to a child’s development!
My biggest struggle is…
My biggest struggle has been a spiritual one. I am not gentle, patient, or easy-going by nature, and I worried that I might be too controlling and critical. I tried to prepare myself for that possibility. However, I was surprised to see just how intense those emotions became when homeschooling began. Fortunately, I was never left feeling as if I weren’t cut out for it. I’ve always struggled with anger and have learned to deal with it, but I was new to homeschooling and the anger found new ways to manifest itself. I just reminded myself that these character flaws or weaknesses were not new; they didn’t come about because of homeschooling. Whether I had chosen to homeschool or not, I would still have these “issues,” even if they weren’t very evident. It’s just that homeschooling forced me to confront these weaknesses. I’ve had to learn what it means to give up control, to renew my mind with Truth, and to rely on God’s grace for transformation. And there really has been transformation. It feels as if we’re completely over that mountain, and now there’s peace.
Where I could use the most help or advice from other homeschool moms would be...
I appreciate the logistical advice, such as scheduling recommendations or ideas on how to care for a toddler. And I mostly love just being asked how homeschooling is going. Thankfully, all the homeschool moms I’ve talked with have been super encouraging, and this makes all the difference.
