I hiked up the carpeted stairs of the townhouse with baby Audrey slung over my shoulder. She slept until I stopped moving up and down like a human escalator. Then the crying began. Relentless, ear-piercing, you-are-not-going-to-sleep-all-night-mama-crying.
“She doesn’t like me!” I worried to Jerry. “My own baby doesn’t like me!”
Jerry’s job kept him away eighty hours a week. Some nights he stayed in a hotel close to work to grab a few hours of sleep before he began another shift. We owned one vehicle so I was alone with Audrey ninety percent of the time. My dreams of motherhood had come crashing down over my head in a deep depressing darkness.
The few times Audrey smiled, I snapped a photo.
“I think you brought the wrong baby home from the hospital,” my brother-in-law teased.
“I don’t want to have any more children!” I confessed to Jerry late one night. All of those early marriage conversations about adopting and having a large family seemed idiotic and idyllic—reality was just too much for me to bear.
I had envisioned motherhood in a warm yellow, glowing light with fresh flowers on the table and a pressed apron, a perfect home, and family dinner at the table every night. I would rise early in the morning like the Proverbs 31 woman, shower, and put on pressed clothing, apply make-up, and do my hair. Baby Guire would wake smiling, giggling. We would spend the day cleaning, playing, sorting socks, and preparing nutritious food together.
Have your dreams of motherhood come crashing down around your head? Do you have one glorious sunny moment and then fall into despair because you are buried in laundry and have cranky kids hanging on your ankles?
I’ve been there. I know. We all go there. And some days we wake up desperate to pull the covers back over our heads and hide from the world.
That’s why we need each other, ladies, the Bible tells us to encourage one another while today is still today. And starting Friday, you can come for some support and encouragement at the T.H.E.S.I.S. Mom’s Tea.
The truth is every journey with taking has some difficulty. We Moms need to support each other and pray for one another as we act counter-culturally and homeschool our children.
We will be using the text:
You can purchase it on Amazon.
Come join me in the Chi Alpha Café!